Saturday, March 5, 2011

Adoption and Teen Pregnancy

For this week of 16 and Pregnant, we had the opportunity to witness a teen mom, Lori, go through the adoption process.  Lori was adopted, making her situation quite unique. In the episode, Lori struggles with the decision to either keep her baby or give the child up for an adoption. Part of Lori's difficulty in making a decision comes from the lack of support on her parent's end. However, Lori's desire for a biological family connection plays into her desire to keep her child, but on the other hand, her rocky and unstable relationship with her ex-boyfriend, Corey,  also forces her to consider adoption. It appears that the lack of support from her parents played the biggest role in her decision to give up her child. Lori was featured in an article in People magazine five months after giving up her son. In the article, Lori admits to "reluctantly agreeing to the adoption" and "being forced into this [the adoption]".  Lori eventually admits that her parents had "her best interest in mind" and she now realizes she "was living in a fantasy world".  The article also includes some commentary from Lori's parents.  Lori's mother admits she knew Lori wasn't ready for motherhood and that she and her husband were willing to serve  as grandparents and not actual parenting in the unborn child's life.  Lori's parents were quite financially stable (Her father's an anesthesiologist and her mother is a nurse.) yet less financially stable families have been shown on the show who were much more supportive of their teen daughters keeping their babies.  What do you think contributes to a a more financially stable family being against teen parenting versus a less financially stable family being supportive of teen parenting? 


A  second People article introduced Ashley Wilkens, a seventeen year old teen mom who, like Lori, chose to give her child up for an adoption. Ashley had zero support from her teen father, prompting her to really consider and go along with the adoption process. Unlike Lori's parents, Ashley's mother was quite supportive of her teen parenting her child and in fact, she was quite upset with Ashley's decision to give up her son. Her mother shared "It had a devastating effect on our family...I would have raised that baby". Her reaction and the reaction of Lori's parents  are strikingly different.  Why do you think some parents, like Ashley's, take the decision of their children to give up their children (In an attempt to give their children "better" lives) so deeply and personally?  Caitlyn and Tyler, parents who also chose adoption, faced some harsh reactions from their own parents in giving up their baby girl, Carly, as well. 
-Ashley Boyd
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4 comments:

  1. 16 and Pregnant: Group FourMarch 9, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    To answer the first question posted: I really think this comes from the fact that teenagers whose families are more financially stable have a lot more to lose by becoming pregnant and parenting a child young. I know that when I got pregnant adoption and abortion were both put on the table by my family and for the longest time I was planning on giving my son up for adoption, I had an adoption counselor and was looking through profiles of prospective parents and everything. My situation was quite close to Lori's even with regard to the father of my child, he at first went along with my choice of adoption but shortly before I gave birth put that plan to an end by deciding he would not agree to an adoption and in the state of Missouri you have to have both parents consent to place a child for adoption.

    So anyways I, like a lot of other teen-moms who come from middle class families, have a life plan that a child that comes too early turns upside down. A young woman from a less well off family does not see their daughter losing much by parenting young, they wouldn't have gone to college anyway so what does it really affect?

    We've read a lot of material pointing out that the 'negative' outcomes of teen pregnancy are not actually outcomes of the pregnancy but rather outcomes of the socio-economic class of the young mom. Young women who get pregnant are just as likely as other women of their class to eventually reach the same life standards and goals just in a rather mixed up order.

    Anyways this episode was rather emotional for me but, those are my thoughts on the topic.

    -Emilia

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  2. 16 and Pregnant: Group FourMarch 9, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    To answer the first question: In my opinion, I think it all depends on the support system behind the mother/both parents. If there is no support system besides the parent(s), there is no one to lean on in times of need. This can mean a biological family, friends you count as family, or a faith-based family. Economic status is an important factor but if you plenty of money to support your offspring you can buy him or her many things but a family (of any definition) just does not come with a price tag.

    As for the second question, I do not have a concrete stance on the issue. I have never been in any similar situation but I will venture to say it has something to do with fulfilling a certain void. Knowing another human is being formed in your daughters womb is such a mind-blowing concept, but not getting to know someone who is made up from one quarter of your DNA is heartbreaking. Expecting a bundle of love is exciting but knowing that you will not be the one who gets to sprinkle attention is harder to accept.

    -Claire L.

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  3. Maura B.March 9, 2011 at 9:33 PM

    This episode was very emotional. The pain and distress Lori displayed was heartbreaking, as was the pain of her mom, seeing her daughter so distraught. The emotion and anticipation shown by the adoptive couple seemed so sincere to me, how anxious they were for a baby.

    Emilia had an excellent point that I had not considered which is that a financially stable family or one of a higher socioeconomic class may feel like their daughter or son has "more to lose" by parenting early. That had not even crossed my mind and I think it is very valid.

    I also think that there is more of an "image" in higher socioeconomic classes. Lori came from an upperclass, Catholic family and I think that religion and money may influence a family's opinion in whether or not they feel their daughter or son is able to parent.

    Adoption is a very difficult decision, for any family to make. You are giving another family the ultimate gift of life; it is so selfless. I would imagine that there is a fear of regret for many families, a fear that they will always wonder about the baby they placed for adoption.

    Anywho, this was a beautiful episode.

    ::Maura B.

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  4. 16 and Pregnant: Group FourMarch 11, 2011 at 9:43 AM

    I think there are numerous things that contribute to a family (financially stable or not) being supportive/not to a teenage pregnancy. But I feel that the most important thing to a family that is financially stable being against teenage pregnancy is that the parents feel that their son or daughter has way more potential to become successful without having a child at a young age. It takes alot to be a teenage mother, and most parents( especially the financially stable) would want the best for their child's future. whereas a less financially stable family would probably be more supportive of a teenage pregnancy because (statistically) their teenager probably doesn't have much to lose...

    Simone McGary

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